A new client recently told me she has a really hard time with the word discipline. She can’t help it, she equates it with meanness and does not know how to change that. I told her that she could change the wording to coaching, directing, guidance… that gave her pause. She told me she never thought about it like that. Somehow, somewhere the word discipline became a bad word, specially in the dog training community. In dog psychology it is simply understood as one of the parts in the the formula of fulfilling dogs. But in the civilian world it is seen as the owner having to discipline the dog in order to get “compliance”. What I believe that most people don’t understand is that, very much likes us, dogs are social mammals and learn the from their peers what are the acceptable behaviors in a pack situation. Very much like us, dogs need to spend their physical and mental energy in order to feel fulfilled. Also in a very similar way that humans do, they need to learn what is allowed and what is not allowed in order to be the best versions of themselves. Affection is anything that makes one feel better. Food is affection, petting is affection, play is affection… However we were not raised on affection alone. We were raised with rules and boundaries (discipline one might say) and that made us ready to live in a world where multitudes rule this social experiment. Dogs have the same needs as us when it comes to learning the rules of the game. That is our job as care takers – protection and direction. If that wording suits you better, then use that. Whatever one wants to call it, it comes down to our dogs needing us to teach them what behaviors are allowed and which ones aren’t. That is discipline, that is us caring enough for our four legged friends to show them how to be better members of a human society.
If, like my client, the word discipline leaves a bad taste in your mouth, then try changing it to preparation, practice, development. Just remember, the dog does not care what ones call it, the dog, as a social mammal simply needs us to fulfill the role of the pack. Teaching it what is allowed and what is not allowed. The discipline that the pack would teach is the one of not straying too far from them. When traveling together, dogs get in formation, but they always remain close or communicate about intentions. When meal time comes, the hierarchy of the pack dictates who eats when. Jumping on members of one owns pack is done solely with young puppies and their peers, never to an adult. Focusing on these simple examples, one can see that the discipline, or the preparation, that the pack does is always present. Not done out of meanness or revenge, it is done so that the entire pack can live in harmony. Isn’t that why we raise our young with boundaries. Teaching our young not to touch the electrical outlet or the hot stove. Not to hit grandma or a friend? Is that discipline bad? We humans discipline our young on how to drive or how to behave in a classroom. Sure it can be done with malice, but that is not the intention. The intention of most of humanity is to raise human beings that are prepared to deal with the world in a balanced way. See the parallel here?
Exercise is often taken to mean only the physical aspect of it. However, in thinking back on our days at school, I can say that there where certain classes that drained me more than a PE class would ever do. Exercise for us was of the body, sure. But the mind was engaged, sometimes more so than the body. Dogs are very similar. No, they can not excel at a chemistry class (neither could I) but they do excel in mental exercises that, many times can stand in for physical exercises. These are easier to accomplish then the perfect walk. So why not start there? Exploring mental exercises that can create a more balanced coexistence is one of the joys of having a dog. Dog and human practicing together in order to achieve a goal. That drains energy and often times is overlooked when we talk about our dog – human habits.
Discipline is not the opposite of affection. Discipline is what makes one strive harder making that affection seem so much sweeter. If the word makes you stop in your tracks and second guess if you are doing this dog ownership thing right, then change it in your mind. Discipline is practice, consistency. It is what one commits to their dog when they decide to have one. Anything worth learning or achieving requires discipline. It requires that commitment of doing, even when one does not really feel like it. Dogs need to work, dogs need structure. If they are not provided structure they will find some other way to expend that energy, hence why so many dogs that need training were often raised on affection alone. They are loved but unbalanced since a huge part of the fulfillment formula is missing. For many, this is hard pill to swallow, but yes, owning a dog encompasses much more than simply feeding and buying them fluffy beds. On the other hand isn’t it wonderful that we get to be the ones to teach and coach our dogs into becoming the best versions of themselves? Like most things worth having that will require a lot of exercise, discipline and affection on our part as well.
Happy training.
