Recently a friend came to visit me with her two dogs. She is an extremely successful person with a very hectic schedule. Her biggest concern was that one of her dogs was starting to “over react” when meeting other dogs. Her dog became tense while trying to control the other dogs. She didn’t understand why since she had socialized her dog with all kinds of animals since she was a pup. My advice to her? Slow down. I told her that she was asking way too much of her dog and not giving the pup time to absorb what she was learning. That in turn created an insecure dog that didn’t trust that my friend saw her for where and who she was at any given moment. One of the most common direction that I impart on dog owners, busy or not, is to slow down. Slow the expectations, slow down with the amount of things you ask your dog. Slow down when teaching. No matter how busy your schedule is, the one things one should always remember is that “dog training” is done on our terms but always, always on the dog’s time.
Yes we live busy lives. It seems now a days that everyone is running to catch up with their daily schedules and that, friends, is one of the biggest contributors to our dogs acting out. You see they are trying to tell us that our lives are out of wack. We are constantly rushing from point A to point B, never present. Always late. For a being that lives moment to moment what we are teaching our dogs is that a perpetual state of flight-fight is what is normal in our lives. Since dogs imitate behavior we now have dogs in a constant state of fight – flight or avoidance. Our dogs never get to experience surrender with us (unless we are sleeping). I often say that most dogs are either on or off, no “in between”. Isn’t that how we are currently living our lives? Never present, always thinking of what we forgot to do or planning what is next on the agenda. Our busy schedules are actually what is making it harder for our dogs to be balanced. The most effective dog training technique for busy schedules is an easy one: slow down. Make teaching part of your daily reminder to be in the moment, be present, slow down and breathe intentionally. Our dogs are telling us to slow down. They are actually begging for a little throw back to a simpler era. One where walking your dog down the street did not mean getting ready for a battle. One that we are at peace with ourselves, being aware that we are the ones writing the script.
When teaching a dog a training technique that one can apply with a busy schedule the most important advice I would give anyone is to be present. Slow the process way down. If your dog sleeps in crate; ask your dog, every morning to stay in their crate, with the door open while you make your coffee and prepare your breakfast. After that let them out to potty but ask them to lie down before they go outside to relieve themselves. If you feed your dog in the morning, ask them to stay on a bed while you are preparing their food and them ask them to stay on a bed for about 10 minutes before inviting them to eat. If you prefer to walk your dog in the am, introduce the same concept of expecting them to be calm before you do anything. Picking up the leash, putting the leash on, if you dog is jumping up and down, switch the mind set to one of calmness gets you what you want. These exercises essentially teach the dog that the only way to move forward is when they surrender to not expecting anything but simply being calm and yielding to whatever happens in the moment. That will drain their minds more than any physical exercise will ever do.
Busy people need to be efficient. To be the best coach for your dog when time is of the essence, remember that dogs are dependent on us to teach them the rules of the game. Waking up a little earlier to allow yourself and your dog time to work on being present is one huge gift you can bestow on both of you. The idea is to make the dog work for every little item on the agenda. Another part of the puzzle is to spend some quiet time slowing everything down. For us and for them. Use the time that you have working with your dog as one of internal growth. One of self awareness. Ask yourself when interacting with your dog, what is my energy? What am I brining into to the conversation? Am I rushing and wanting to fit way more things into to a slot of time that is possible? Budget time to be present, be aware, be the role model for your dog. Remembering always that, when done correctly, mental work is way more tiring than physical exercise. That is true of humans and dogs. When training we usually have more time than we think, but less time that we know. Your life with your dog is one of years, not months. Allocating true present time with your dog is what will make your dog fulfilled and your schedule more manageable.
Happy training!
