One of the biggest red flags I find in the dog training world is when trainers insist that the dog being trained is really great with them when the owner expresses frustration about the dog’s behavior. Trying to show how exceptional the dog is with the professional while simultaneously telling the owner that they are the problem is not only unhelpful but also extremely demoralising. Is it any wonder or mystery why the dog is great with a trainer? Isn’t that why they are being paid? For their “expertise” in the exact field that they are working on? Or else why would the money be exchanging hands? Listening to clients tell me horror stories of their experiences with trainers who insisted that the dog was great, while they, the owner, couldn’t control their dog is absolutely disheartening. Is it any wonder so many people do not trust dog professionals? A dog trainer’s job is not only to teach or coach the dog about acceptable behaviours, but it is also, and maybe most importantly, to create a connection between dog and owners so the relationship can flourish. The professional shouldn’t be a required piece of the puzzle in order for it to fit. Our job is to work on the relationship between humans and dogs. If whatever we taught the dog is not working with the owners, then we have failed in our assignment. Training, when done right, is much more about the connection and communication between our two species than it is about conditioning a desired behaviour. For even if the conditioning is not fully ingrained, the connection and communication will make for a much smoother relationship, allowing owners to keep practising on their time in order to achieve the “perfect” conditioning.
It is really not hard to find a dog trainer. Social media is awash with accounts of “professionals showing off their skills” broadcasting dogs doing a myriad of commands, or publicising just how instantaneously they can “fix” any dog. There are pages of positive reinforcement only, pages of police dogs being trained, bite work, endless dissection videos of how this trainer did this wrong and that trainer is not up to snuff… It is a true smorgasbord of how to train your dog. When watching any trainer video, the first and most important thing I look for is connection. Are a dog and human connected? It is not hard to see connection, albeit it is not as easy to spot or as content-worthy as conditioning. Connection is trust; connection is a canine and a human working together to achieve a goal. Without connection, there can be no communication, and without communication, there really is no relationship. Sadly, the majority of accounts I see show dogs being conditioned through endless repetition of a desired behaviour. Please do not misunderstand me; I see nothing wrong with conditioning per se. After all, that is also how we learn: trial and error, repetition, and practice. However, if there is nothing other than that, then communication goes out the window since we are not seeing the other for who and what they are. We are, fundamentally, blocking our connection with the dog when we focus primarily on conditioning. Hence why dogs solely conditioned in behaviours have a hard time connecting that conditioning to the owners after finishing a board and train programme, making it one of the biggest complaints about dog trainers not really being “effective” at their job. Since the dog’s behaviours are different at home than they were at the trainer’s facility.
Board and train programs are the most effective way to teach a dog since the dog is immersed in training and practicing what they are learning on a daily basis. However, without owner participation and true understanding of dog psychology, the lessons learned rarely stick. Any serious board and train program will not offer less than 21 days of immersive training. That is the absolute bare minimum when creating new grooves of behavior. In addition to that, it is essential that owners also attend classes or sessions with their dog and the trainer so they can become part of the new pattern of behavior. If trainers don’t encourage owner participation in their board and train program, I would strongly suggest going to a different one. Dogs are not robots to be programmed and then shipped back home. They are living, breathing, extremely intelligent beings that flourish with strong bonds and clear direction. That is the crucial difference between conditioning and connection: conditioning is teaching a dog a command; connection is making sure the dog is prepared to do what they learned no matter the situation. That takes time and trust on both parts. If all one wants is a dog that performs commands, then one is not recognising the essence of what it is to be a dog owner. It is that connection, the link that bonds us. That is why owner participation in any training is crucial. I always say that I don’t care if the dog acts well with me; I am a trainer. The true work comes in creating or recreating a relationship between owner and dog where both sides feel seen. Where the connection becomes stronger and with that, commands become second nature.
If you are thinking of hiring a trainer to help you in your journey with your dog, make sure that the trainer not only sees your dog for who they are—avoid cookie-cutter trainers at all costs—but also includes you as part of the training journey. Trust your gut when it comes to your questions being answered; see if there is a connection between the trainer and dog before the trainer asks your dog to do anything. And then, once that connection has been established, make sure the trainer includes you in the process. I find that holding an hour-and-a-half session with owners about once a week while their dog is in my care works really well. The dog and I practice (and yes, condition a desired behaviour) during the week and then the owners come and practice how to achieve that same level of communication in their sessions. It is a win-win with all parties involved putting in the work. Connection trumps conditioning, but without conditioning, there is no teaching. The difference is that in Dog Psychology, conditioning is the last piece of the puzzle, never the first.
Happy training!
