A few months ago a friend of mine was telling me about this dog that was up for adoption. She had been following this rescue organization online and fallen in love with this little black, fluffy dog. She knew right away that they were meant to be together.
She was ready, she told me, to have a dog. Since she was working from home, she had the time and her son had been asking for a dog constantly, so she was going to do it.
“Great, I replied… so why do want to get a dog?”
“What?” she answered a little confused. “To have a buddy, a companion, someone to have fun, to have cuddle parties with.”^^^
I share this story to illustrate how, many times, the decision to get a pet is made with very little thought. We see an adorable face and create this fantasy of how our life together is going to be. After all, how hard can it be to own a dog? It’s man’s best friend, everyone has one, they are so cute… while shelters and rescue organizations are full to the brim with unwanted pets.
So let’s try a little experiment: ask yourself why do you want to get a dog?
Like my friend, people have this idealized vision of what life with their dog is going to be; the companionship, the fun, the unending devotion. Life with a dog can be, and in many instances is that way. They are amazing beings that have a need to be with their pack, consistently want to be of service and are always ready for an adventure… who wouldn’t want that?
Another way of seeing that, however, is that dogs have needs that go beyond love – food – shelter. They are living beings that are reliant on their pack for guidance and security. In Dog Psychology the human’s job in relation to the dog is protection and direction. Try thinking of yourself as a coach teaching a rookie that doesn’t speak the language. How would you go about it? Do you think that it would be a quick lesson? Do you imagine that there are not going to be miscommunications along the way?
Now think about it through the dog’s perspective: they arrive in a strange place, with humans that shower them with affection but give absolutely no direction. Something as basic as “where do we go potty” is often not taught. The dog then decides where they will go potty and the human gets frustrated because that wasn’t the right place.
Learning takes time, consistency and a lot of repetition. Teaching takes time, consistency and a lot of repetition. That is as true for humans as it is for dogs. (In school we studied 2+2 for months. Months I tell, you!) Therefore if you are thinking about getting a dog, ask yourself, am I able to dedicate a portion of my time every day in order to fulfill my dog’s needs. To understand that I am entering into a relationship with a being that is different from myself, that has different needs and that I will be responsible for it.
I say this not to sound dreary, but I believe we have forgotten as of late, the joy of learning and teaching. We disregard, at our own peril, that the journey is the reward. What makes our bond with a dog strong is the every day interaction, is that time spent with our furry companions teaching them what is important to us. It is learning with them what works and what doesn’t. Lassie didn’t just become Lassie, she spent hours with her owner working to figure out what he wanted. While he spent hours teaching her what was important to him.
Why do you want a dog? Ask yourself that question, and if the answer is to have the perfect dog and take her everywhere with you, then be prepared to work for that. There are myriad of options now a days, from experienced trainers, to dog lessons at the park. If you don’t have the expertise on how to teach your dog the things you want her to do, then hire a professional. If you feel you are ready do it yourself, go for it. But remember to budget for time, expenses and patience when making your calculations on whether you are ready to get a dog.
If the answer is I want a companion, remember that to have a comrade one has to be willing to give as much as receive. Simply receiving food, shelter and love will not be sufficient to fulfill one of the parts in the relationship. Dogs need to work, dogs need to be of service to the pack, if we don’t fulfill that need they will find it in other ways. They can become destructive, defensive, aggressive or withdrawn. That is their way of coping with not having something to do that engages them in a meaningful way.
Whatever your reason for wanting a dog, ask yourself how much of your time, money and brain waves are you willing to spend. You will spend all of those, believe me. If you get a young puppy, be prepared to potty train them *(usually two weeks if you are consistent). Once you have done that, then be prepared to teach them what is allowed to be chewed and what is not, how to greet people, what to do when you leave the house, etc. If you adopt an older dog be ready to spend time teaching them rules of your house *(usually three to four weeks if done consistently), integrating her in the family routine, introducing her to other dogs and people, etc.
*all times are approximate and should not be used for scientific purposes.
Are you ready to become a dog owner?
I truly hope so, Dogs are such special beings. But if you realize that you are not ready for that much commitment, get your feet wet by, maybe, fostering a dog. Rescue organizations are always in need of volunteers to help out. Shelters always need help with socializing dogs. Or sign up for one of those home-hotel services for dogs. There are a myriad of them.
Learn what it is to have a dog, do your research, allow for a few moments of self-awareness by asking yourself why you want a dog. Once you find that answer, be prepared to work for it. Like any relationship rules and boundaries will have to be set, communication will have to flow and mistakes will have to be forgiven. Are you ready for that?
^^^In the end my friend decided not to get the dog after all. She said she will wait a little longer until she is ready for such a big commitment. In the mean time she and her son spend time with her sister’s dog.^^^
